The Match Before Christmas


Twas the Match before Christmas, when all through the servers,
The LBP's were spec'ing, even the Llamas.
The ping times were checked, the rates set with care
Because we knew Clan North Pole would soon be there.

My team was camped. Waiting for RED.
They practiced their railing last night before bed.
BigMAMMA our captain, and me by her side,
Warmed up by Strafe-jumping from side to side.

When from across the map, a spawn sound did shatter,
The match had just started and nothing else mattered.
I jumped to my left when I saw a red flash.
A rocket almost hit me and tore though my ass.

I peeked from a corner; I crouched down real low,
I zoomed in on objects, both high and below.
When, what in my sights did happily appear.
A player in red, his end was soon near.
But I was amazed. He was lively and quick.
I knew in a moment, it must be St. Nick.
Then from out of all corners, it seemed like they came.
I dropped down the console; I read all their names.

Now, Dasher! And, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
There is, Comet! And Cupid! And, Donder and Blitzen.
To the top of the map, and behind that big wall,
They took their positions and waited for us all.
Like distant thunder I knew in a snap.
They shot off some rockets from the corner of the map.
So up the stairs I felt like I flew!
And there was a reindeer and St Nicholas too!

I turned and I fired my shotgun with care,
And the gibs of Dancer flew through the air!
Santa shot too as I rounded the corner,
But I was OK cuz I had on some armor.
I dropped some grenades as I jumped out of the room.
But Nick did not trip and seal his own doom.
I fled to the basement and hid in a corner
I knew in 3 seconds would spawn some more armor.

I rejoined the battle. To the middle of the map
I switched to a rail gun, I am good with that.
As the sound of plasma bursts filled the air.
I knew my teammates were dying up there.
So I joined up with BigMAMMA, cuz she was in first!
She took out Cupid with a BFG burst!
We gathered more health as we look around.
My "K" key "say_team NEED AMMO" was bound.
I pressed that "K" key in quite a hurry
Cuz No ammo in QUAKE is just not merry!
BigMAMMA dropped slugs for my rail gun's belly
I aimed and I fired and turned Donder to jelly!
I pressed "TAB" the next moment to check the score
Twas close I will tell you, but we were loosing this war!
Gone were my teammates except MAMMA and me.
The red team was winning. They had just three.

My headphones heard Footsteps come from the right.
MAMMA fired a rocket and saved me that night.
The score was now even but our deaths we were waiting
SANTA was alive. He has REGENERATION!
Then Blitzen attacked me with a lightning gun
No help from MAMMA she must have run.
I saw in an instant that my health was draining.
Sweat poured from my body like it had been raining!
I jumped from a ledge to get away from there
Turning while I fled. I railed Blitzen ... MID-AIR!
Then St Nick took out BigMAMMA as she tried to run.
A rocket hit her back. It was now ONE on ONE!

Back to the basement to grab some more armor
I hid in that corner but not for much longer.
Thinking of ways to frag that chubby elf
I grabbed the INVISIBILITY and smiled to myself.
My joy fleeted quickly I knew I was done for
I went back upstairs and opened the door.
My health and armor would soon be vanished
Santa is hunting me now with the QUAD DAMAGE.

We met in the middle when I heard a big BOOM
I could not believe what I saw in that room.
It was raining gibs and I shouted "MY GOD"!
SANTA just tried to rocket jump with QUAD!
Jumped up and down. I let out a whistle.
Took a screenshot and savored each pixel.
I typed in "GG" and to my delight
SANTA typed back "GG to all. and to all a Good FIGHT"!